Ilaria Rosella Pagliaro Even in the most solid love stories boredom can creep in, but with awareness, small daily changes and the desire to rediscover each other, it is possible to rediscover the complicity of the couple and give new life to the relationship.
Sometimes, nothing amazing happens. No crisis, no betrayal, no emotional shock bomb. And yet… there’s this emptiness. That nagging feeling that something is no longer what it was. You speak, but you’re not hearing. You’re there, but you’re not present. You lie in the same bed, but you feel like you’re on a sleeper train from Milan to Reggio Calabria.
Boredom in a stable relationship is more common than burnt spaghetti. It doesn’t arrive with trumpets and neon lights; it insinuates itself into the routine, between “what’s for dinner?” and “pass the remote.” The worst part of it is that it makes us feel guilty, as if love were a game show and we gave the wrong answer.
It’s one that we all go through, but we hardly speak it honestly. But recognizing this feeling can be a moment of profound self-awareness. For because boredom does not mean it’s over, but the beginning of another journey with each other.
Emotional connection builds through listening and being present, not routine. At times, all one needs to do is really look at one another. Not with the gaze of one who already knows everything about the other, but with the wonder of one who still wants to find out. Emotional dullness occurs when we assume our partner will forever be the same. People change, they evolve, they develop. And being together means learning to reinvent one another, anew, every day.
Fixing a couple’s entanglement doesn’t require great things. Far from it: a gentle note, a phoneless stroll, a shared activity for the first time might do it. True intimacy is built like this, in shared real-time moments and wanting to be there with truth. Even the physical self has a part: touch, touch, and rekindled passion are powerful against emotional distance.
Routine isn’t the problem: it’s the way we share it that matters. Routine is considered by most to be the biggest enemy of a couple. But actually, it’s a lie. The problem isn’t the routine itself, but the unconsciousness with which we live it. Changing the point of view from which we regard our relation can do miracles.
Let’s try to do something different in the regular routine: a cooked breakfast, a screen-free night, a Sunday out. These are little things, but they can have the power to spark energy between two people.
The truth is that any relationship goes through periods of depletion and silence. But each period has a message, and sometimes all it is necessary to do is move our hearts ever so slightly to hear again and discover the symphony.
