Ilaria Rosella Pagliaro Friendships play a key role in adult mental well-being. Studies reveal that having at least five close friends can significantly boost happiness, resilience, and life satisfaction.
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In our free time, we scroll through our phones, reply to messages, and occasionally join friends for an aperitif. But how many of these people truly know us? How many would recognize if we were going through a tough time, even without us saying a word?
A recent study published in Frontiers in Psychology analyzed nearly two decades of research to answer a simple yet profound question: What role do friendships play in adulthood? It’s a question worth asking, especially in today’s world, where, despite being constantly connected, many people report feeling more alone than ever before.
The power of five
And here’s the most interesting finding: those with the best mental well-being are the ones who have at least five close friends. Not one, not two, but five people who they can turn to in times of need, and who they can also share the good moments with, without the need for constant explanations.
But what defines a true friend today?
The study, led by a group of psychologists from Panteion University in Athens, was meticulous in its approach. It identified key characteristics that distinguish a “true” friendship from more superficial interactions. It’s not just about affection; it’s also about trust, availability, listening, intimacy, and most importantly, reciprocity. In a healthy adult friendship, both individuals support each other, share their experiences, and accept each other as they are.
Functions of friendship
Psychologists refer to these dynamics as the “functions of friendship,” which include complicity (the joy of simply being together), emotional and practical support, feeling safe, and knowing that someone will be there for you during tough times. It’s the ability to be ourselves, without any filters.
The quality of these relationships is strongly linked to several aspects of psychological well-being: happiness, life satisfaction, energy, motivation, and resilience – the capacity to endure tough times without falling apart.
It’s not enough to simply “have friends.” What makes the difference is how we nurture those relationships, how much time we invest in them, whether we are truly able to listen, and if we can express our feelings honestly. This, in the long run, sustains well-being. And it works both ways: both those receiving support and those offering it benefit.
Well-being and the importance of feeling needed
This is no mere rhetoric; it’s a well-documented mechanism. The more we feel useful, the more we strengthen our identity and self-esteem. The more we feel heard, the better we are at managing anxiety, stress, and even loneliness – which can still strike even amidst thousands of contacts.
An intriguing point concerns the feeling of being important to someone. When we feel significant in a friend’s eyes, it boosts our sense of vitality, uniqueness, and motivation. These elements, according to the researchers, are key factors for our mental balance, along with a sense of belonging and the ability to pursue personal goals.
Friendship and mental health: why relationships matter
The study’s authors suggest that we should not underestimate the relational aspect when discussing mental health. While more spaces for dialogue and support are needed, especially in educational, work, and therapeutic settings, we can also start small.
Taking the time to send a message to an old friend we haven’t heard from in a while. Inviting someone who seems a bit quiet lately for a chat. Sharing more sincerely how we feel, even if we’re afraid of “bothering” them. And, most importantly, learning to listen without judgment or correction.
These are simple actions, accessible to everyone. And yet, according to the researchers, they have a concrete impact on our health. No complicated tools or apps are required. What’s needed is presence, attention, and authenticity. So no, it’s not about having dozens of friends or a frenetic social life. It’s about a small circle of true people you can really rely on. According to science, those with high well-being have five people they can count on; those with poorer mental health have just over three.
It doesn’t necessarily have to be five “old” or “perfect” friends, but five relationships where we feel seen, heard, and accepted. Where we can be ourselves. And if reading this made you think of a name – or maybe someone you haven’t spoken to in a while – perhaps it’s time to reach out.
Source: Frontiers
